About
Marla Estes
Marla Estes is the founder of Building Bridgers, an educational initiative rooted in a simple but persistent question: Why do our conversations break down—and what helps them open again?
Marla came to this work through a growing discomfort with how quickly people stop seeing one another as complex human beings. She became less interested in who was right and more curious about what was happening beneath the surface—how fear, identity, certainty, and unexamined assumptions shape what we see and how we respond.
Her work focuses on helping people slow down and “zoom out,” to notice the psychological and relational patterns that quietly drive conflict and polarization. Rather than trying to change minds, Marla creates conditions in which understanding can emerge naturally.
Since founding Building Bridgers in 2017, she has facilitated talks, film discussions, and conversations that invite curiosity instead of animosity, nuance instead of certainty. Her approach is non-partisan, human-centered, and grounded in the belief that learning how to understand one another is a skill—and one worth practicing.
My Approach
My work focuses on helping people build understanding across difference, using a range of tools drawn from psychology, systems thinking, facilitated dialogue, and film as a central—but not exclusive—method.
In a time of deep polarization, many social and political conflicts persist not because people lack intelligence or good intentions, but because our human operating systems—our nervous systems, emotions, identities, and meaning-making habits—become overwhelmed. When that happens, we grow reactive, certain, and less able to truly see one another.
Film is one of the most powerful ways I’ve found to interrupt this pattern.
How Film Functions in This Work
Stories on screen allow people to encounter complexity indirectly—without being put on the spot or asked to defend a position. When individuals from different backgrounds watch the same film and then reflect together, defenses tend to soften, curiosity increases, and shared humanity becomes easier to recognize. Film creates what I call optimal proximity: enough closeness to feel what’s at stake, and enough distance to remain thoughtful rather than overwhelmed.
In this context, film acts as a mediating object, helping participants:
notice their own emotional reactions without shame
see how different people can respond very differently to the same material
recognize how narratives, fear, and moral outrage shape perception
stay present with difficult themes without sliding into “us vs. them” thinking
Because the focus is on the film rather than on personal positions, participants are often able to see themselves and others more clearly than they can in direct debate. Hearing a range of responses to the same story is deeply humanizing and builds understanding across divides.
The Broader Framework
Film-based conversations are supported by additional tools and frameworks drawn from psychology and systems thinking. Rather than trying to change people’s minds directly, this work focuses on changing the conditions under which minds operate.
Participants explore:
how emotional reasoning and defensiveness distort judgment
why certainty can feel protective but limit understanding
how good intentions can still lead to harmful outcomes in complex systems
why viewpoint diversity is essential for wiser collective decisions
Key capacities are cultivated, including humility, curiosity, discernment, and the ability to zoom in on human stories while also zooming out to see larger systems, trade-offs, and unintended consequences.
Outcomes
Participants do not leave with prescribed opinions or talking points. They leave with greater internal freedom—more able to pause instead of react, more comfortable with uncertainty, and better equipped to engage difference without dehumanizing others.
Film is not the only tool in this work, but it is a uniquely powerful one—serving as a bridge that helps people cross divides thoughtfully, humanely, and together.
© 2022 Marla Estes
